Early Mid-Life Crisis??

Midlife crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques and used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age (Thank you Wikipedia).

I think I happen to be going through this at 28.

Just for some clarity, I have been feeling the huge desire lately that I should be more "established" than I currently am at my age. Why you ask? I don't know, isn't that what is supposed to happen?

What do I mean by established? Well let's see, I got married about two years ago to a man I have known since 17 but started dating at 21. My co-workers, mother, father, in-laws, friends.... actually most people in our lives have been ready for me to pop out a child. Yet I'm not even close to feeling prepared for all that! I mean, I love babies, I really do.... but who is gonna pay for its daycare? Where will it sleep? When can I have a glass of wine? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy I have gotten to a place where a child would not be the end of my world (not that it ever really would have been, but when you are younger it's a scary feeling), but I guess the fact that many of my friends have started this parental process... I'm begining to feel a little left behind, or maybe even a little selfish in my choice not to.

My plan has always been to open the baby factory by 30, and I still hold true to the feeling that it is a good age for me to have children. However, at the moment I don't feel "in process" to even be prepared for that much responsibility in 2 years.

The last thing I wanna do is mess a child up.

I guess a lot can happen in a year and what I should do is wait it out. With school ending in this year (finally!) I'm beginning to get anxious about making more money since this recession kicked me in the finances... HARD! What about all my travel plans? What about my wine? Ahhhh!

I just need to breathe, relax, and go with the motions... at least for the rest of THIS year. My world will not end at 29. Ha ha ha, so I really should count my blessings instead of doubt my future.

In other news, workouts have been good. Even though aquiring "runners knee" threw a wrench in my treadmill training. I feel much better again and think I can give this 5k all I have. My husband and I have taken up yoga at this little studio in La Jolla and that's been amazing for my flexibility and back. I'm still on track to keep at it at least until December and see how different I feel.

The bad news is my husband has been looking amazing lately as weight has dropped off that guy like it's nobody's business. I still look the same. crap. I feel better, but look the same. The good news is that my hubby is a little more confident and smokin' all over again (hollah!). Mine!

Oh, well can't get discouraged I just have to keep at it! Onward and forward folks. 'Till we meet again!