Lovin' the wiggle...

The trouble is... I would love to consider myself pretty mature. Definitely not brand new... There is just so much I still don't know about life, love, and relationships, and that drives me insane. I thought I knew so much, and now I feel like I could have not known anything at all. Why can't people just mean what they say... Why not just be honest? Why can't I be a robot and not care about others even when I know they wouldn't care about me. These questions bother me, but I know the answer. I wouldn't be me if I was the type to not feel, to not care, to not still dream of the fairy tale. Is that naive of me? Will that mean I'm destined for a life of disappointment? I hope not. I have been focusing on myself and just giving that part of myself a break in hopes that I can come to some comfort, guidance, direction about what I really want to do next. I'm not in a rush... I know these things take a great amount of time and given my guarded state, even m...

I often wonder if my life choices are right or wrong... I try and make calculated and thoughtful decisions, but then I wonder if I should take more risks. Risks are defines as exposure (someone or something valued) to danger, harm, or loss. I don't necessary feel like I have much to lose lately. Having endured so much you realize it doesn't take much to make you happy. I have my health, I have a home, I have love... What more can I ask for. With that said I feel like if I am ever going to take risks, in life, in my career, in love... Now would be the moment. It's just scary. It's out of my comfort zone... I don't usually take risks. But I'm leaving my life in the hands of God and praying he leads me down the right paths.

So in a healing effort to get my mind right, I've decided to make choices and take actions that will help me release and let go of any residual pain, sadness, cloudy haze that I carry as a result of my break up. I feel like I have taken leaps and bound in the past two years from broken mess, to still a little chipped. 😉 While I wish I could wipe my hands of all negativity, it's in situations I least expect that I realize the scar tissue I carry with me will always be there. I sincerely miss the days when life was so care free. With that said, this is day one. Easter Sunday 2015. Started the day off with some church with always heals my soul and I realize that I need to pray for myself as much as I pray for others. It usually hasn't been a part of my daily prayer because I would always feel semi selfish to pray for "things" rather than count my blessings. For now I started with a prayer for strength, clarity, healing, and direction. I pray that he guides me in...

So 2013, you've really kicked me in the face. I'm currently in the process of getting divorced. Never thought I'd say those words in my lifetime, but it happens. It wasn't good... In fact it was pretty foul. None the less, here I am in my little studio writing some thoughts down so I don't forget what these 5 months have been for me. I realized I'm a tougher cookie than I ever imagined. As much as I pride myself coming from a family of strong women, I'm extra proud to say I haven't let myself down. I live and love hard, so losing my soul mate has been painful, unfair, sad and mainly weird. It's unnatural to fall out of love with someone you promised to love forever. I tried being amicable but that turned out to be challenging because of all the hurt I still feel. So we hardly talk, and that's okay with me for now. I'm sure someday we can have a genuine conversation but for now he's still busy being "that guy" and I'm bus...

You can't say I didn't warn anyone of what a terrible blogger I am! It's been over a year since my last update. This year has flown by, I will do my best to recap it as best as I can. Career in 2010: In May of this year I complete my Bachelor's degree in Business Management. As proud as that makes me, now I have to figure out what people do with their degree. What the heck I'm gonna do with the rest of my career? This is me and my sister's best friend, Griselda. I feel at a crossroads. While my current job is awesome, I have appeared to have outgrown it a bit and everyone here is encouraging me to move on to greener pastures. However I've been applying to various positions and have been getting few call backs. I'm trying to stay patient and positive, but it's hard not to develop a complex that I finished school to suck at life. But my goal in 2011 is to find the job that's right for me and really work hard to show the world what I can do! Fitness...

So I always wondered what a High School reunion would be like. My only reference is Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, which is a movie I adored!! When I was in high school, I pictured coming back to the auditorium (or something of than nature) only to notice that not much has changed... after all Chula Vista is so small I know a lot of people that stay in the area forever. I pictured the "mean girls" will still be the "mean girls", the "jocks" will still be the "jocks"! Kimberly (my high school best friend) and I would come back to see that we have jett setted around the world and home would still feel like "home". Wrong. My high school reunion is tonight and some things feel strange. Thanks to social websites like myspace and facebook, I have managed to stay in contact and reunite with so many high school friends well before 10 years. As awesome as that is, I have noticed so much about what happens after high school. For star...

Midlife crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques and used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age (Thank you Wikipedia). I think I happen to be going through this at 28. Just for some clarity, I have been feeling the huge desire lately that I should be more "established" than I currently am at my age. Why you ask? I don't know, isn't that what is supposed to happen? What do I mean by established? Well let's see, I got married about two years ago to a man I have known since 17 but started dating at 21. My co-workers, mother, father, in-laws, friends.... actually most people in our lives have been ready for me to pop out a child. Yet I'm not even close to feeling prepared for all that! I mean, I love babies, I really do.... but who is gonna pay for its daycare? Where will it sleep? Wh...

So it happens to be that on my most unmotivated gym days, I tend to surprise myself. Yesterday, I jogged my first consistent mile since I was 13. Can you believe that?? It started out with a lack of wanting to work out at all. I have been at the gym all week and was already achy in the randomest places. So yesterday, I decided it was going to be an "easy walking day" and I'd walk my mile in in like 20 minutes. Once on the treadmill, I was even MORE unamused with working out and figured "Well I can never finish a mile without jogging and walking but maybe if I jog as much as I can as quick as I can, I'll be over with it faster. If I can do at least a quarter of it without my shins kicking my ass, I will be happy". The quarter mile, breezes by and I figure "Maybe I can jog my first half mile... If I can do this I seriously will freak out"! Half a mile later and I was still okay... so I kept going at this point I decided "Screw three quarters, we...

So how is the fitness program going?? Well I've been doing really well about religiously working out for about 4 months now. I feel stronger and can see slight (and I mean slight) changes in my body as far as flexibility and endurance.... so that's a good start! The scale however, continues to taunt me by not budging an inch. Granted I know that I should also be on a hard core diet in order to see some crazy results... but "come on scale.... not even a pound??" I have been trying to stay away from the unnecessary snacks and all, but I'm Latin... beans, rice, and grilled something is part of my diet! That doesn't change as quickly as I'd like it to... and it happens to be 5co de Mayo today.... so margaritas WILL have to be consumed. It's just the way it is. None the less, there is a hill I've been trying to conquer. It's the same type hill I couldn't walk up a few years ago that I can now do the 3 mile trek in about 48 minutes. That's pr...

Artistically or even just for the irrelevant facts, I am fascinated by/attracted to people with giant brains! I myself, am terrible... absolutely TERRIBLE at everything! I have no talent and am really kind of a bimbo. In school, I successfully was able to maintain average grades in honors classes. I legitimately believe that I WAS the dumbest girl in all my classes and may have solely been there for the entertainment value of my shenanigans! Well, 10 years later and still in college, I think it might have just been confirmed as true. As a kid, I loved having long conversations with just about anyone who would teach me everything from how to watch football, how they acquired the career they are in, to even talks about relationships why stuff happens. I think I may know more than I let people assume that I know... However, academics and writing, is definitely not my forte. Example one: One best friend who I used to work for is urked by the use of the word "agreeance" in our lan...

***Stepping on my soap box**** Okay, so nobody ever really reads my blog, which is perfectly fine with with me.... it allows me to say what I need to say without the fear of offending the world... because it appears that now-a-days you can't help but offend someone so very easily. With that said, I think it's totally unfair to cast stones at Miss California for voicing her opinion in a pageant last night. Why? Because it's a friggen pageant!! She's not running for office and she's certainly not making decisions on who gets married in our society (although if she voted she did contribute to it) but the decision, as she started to answer has been all ours this entire time! Now don't get me wrong, I consider myself a pretty religious person... I was raised Catholic and really feel strongly about my spirituality and relationship with God. However, I don't believe he does not love a particular type of people (regardless of what is insinuated in the bible)... I...

So yesterday my husband and I went to Disney's California Adventure.... or as July calls it, "Round 5 of my never ending birthday celebrations"! (I think he's a bit bitter?) Ha ha ha. We had the two-fer tickets from the last visit when we went for free on my birthday! I had never been to California Adventure and let me say it did not disappoint. Maybe it's because I'm older that we had such a great time there... it had much less crowds than regular Disneyland and the rides themselves were much more fun! My poor husband was particularly unamused by the Tower of Terror. He doesn't like things that are unexpected so when he was caught off guard (read: scared), he decided not to get back on that again. To quote him "That ride is just wrong". After our ride, we saw a 3D Muppet show (amazing), rode California Screamin' (twice... the best), and lots lots more. We even went wine tasting for dessert wines in the little Napa Valley looking area! Leave...

As I was watching The Biggest Loser last night night, I was inspired by how some of these people have managed to push themselves from virtually inactive couch potatoes to these outrageously strong fit people! I mean, they pulled a car for the love of Pete! Since the beginning of this new year I have come to terms with the extra pounds I have gained and realize that at 28, inactive is not what I strive to be! I mean, I have never been a particularly slender person, this is not uncommon information. Although around 12 years old I was a size 3... but in high school I've always been at least 15 pounds over my recommended weight. I'm "five feet of funk" and have always been about 127. For my tiny stature, I should be between 104-115.... but that is just ludicrous to me! Currently I'm around.... lots more than that (see what I did there with the elusiveness?)! While I have always been a pretty confident girl (I AM curvy and fabulous), my issue with my fitness is the la...

Or maybe a fanfare wouldn't be the appropriate song for my triumphant return to blogging. I'm not really very royal at all.... it's not like anybody ever mistakes me for a princess or something. Does El Salvador even have a princess? Mayan maybe. :p I've always thought about which songs I'd make my entrance to if I ever became an awesome MMA fighter... lol. Which I TOTALLY could be (Gina Carano anyone?). I have narrowed down to some classics such as Eye of the Tiger (by Survivor), Black Betty (by Spiderbait), Victory (by Puff Daddy), Ether (by Nas), and some newer stuff like Lap Dance (by NERD), and maybe even Beautiful (by Akon)... because let's face it, life is still runway and like RuPaul says "You better work"! (loving this song lately..btw) Okay, okay so I'm off topic already... my point is that through some serious coaching from my friend (thanks Ike ), I'm ready to give this online overgrown diary another chance. Ha ha ha... just kidding...

You're dumb. Ha ha ha.... yay! That is all. I've been holding that one in for a few weeks now!! I mean, I know I do my fair share of dumb things (trust me I am aware of my many flaws) but do I try and blame anyone but me, for them? Nowp, what's the point in that? If people took a few harder looks in the mirror from time to time and stopped seeing what they want to see and see who they really are... they'd work on it or embrace it! I've got a little of both going on. You know, I'm work in progress and all. Hopefully I'll figure it all out eventually... it would be nice to just live at peace with myself, my life, and my past. I do see changes.... and I do like who I am becoming. Except for the fact that I lose a little patience at times. That's not fun.... but I can go back to the patient person I used to be if I just focus on the bigger picture and do stuff like this to ease my rants. Secrets I keep: I'm kind of a shoe hoochie. ~As I scoured my close...

So much for keeping up with a resolution. Uhm ... I can only keep trying right? Well what's been new in Evie-ville??? Plenty. I've been out on the town. Kickin ' butt, taking names.... and sometimes this includes my own. So I think a good resolution is to evaluate my life once again and start making positive changes. It's what makes me happy! =) I'll get back to you when I have some quirky thoughts to get in print.

of my true love! More to come soon!! Let's get this party started!!

I had a very low key Christmas.... nothing very major! My husband and I went to Monday Night Football to watch the San Diego Chargers beat the bajeezus out of the Denver Broncos!! With the exception of work making my hubby late we got there and had a great time... I love football! I love stadium games.... the excitement, the beers and drinks, the cheering!! Good times! We spent the evening at my sister's house where we exchanged gifts and tried not to look too awkward ! Family drama is an every year thing! Everyone had a great time... I got some good gifts! I hope you are as excited as I am.

Yes ladies and gentlemen.... in close second to my husband, Mr. Brad Pitt turns 44 today!! Now, I have had a massive crush on this man since I saw him in the 7 th grade, on the big screen in Interview with a Vampire! Awww .... Louis de Pointe du Lac.... How I love you so!! That was back in 1994!!! Now I know he was in several movies before then, but what's a 13 year old gonna do watching Thelma and Louise?? I saw his other movies, such as Kalifornia and Cool World after I developed the most massive crush in the history of my existence!! So let's go back to the beginning. It was 1993 I think (7 th grade) and a group of us... I'm gonna say it was Tonya, Danielle, Valerie, Kim, Elizabeth, Tim, Mando , Isaac, and a few other folk had all planned to see the release of this really creepy vampire movie. Knowing Tom Cruise ( pre -crazy) was going to be in it as well, I was all about it! Plus at the time I had a massive crush on Tim.... he was the JT of my day... so any oppo...

So how did I spend my first married Thanksgiving?? With my in-laws. Woo hoo !! Actually, it's tradition to go see them..... we've done it for the past 7 years, but it was exciting to actually do it as an official Palma !! Even though I'm still not legally a Palma ... it's been about 4 months and I need to get all my stuff together to change my name! My mother-in-law suggested I keep it the way it is.... if I was successful with it I wouldn't be against the idea..... but for the sake of tradition I'm looking forward to taking my husbands name!! So we left a little late on Wednesday.... it was still traffic time. We stopped for dinner together at Roda Viva, a little Brazilian Steak house in Temecula to kill some time. The food there was a little disappointing this time... it wasn't as awesome as we were used to... but it was good to hang out in the little mall and spend some quality date time with my hubby! After that we went on an excursion to drop off an e...